Wednesday, 28 November 2007
Greetings Strettites, It's been a long time since I've written. The Strettaband has been traveling the world over. The Rock and Roll (and French fry) odyssey has continued. And like the wandering Odysseus, we faced many perils, overcame insurmountable obstacles, witnessed many strange and unsettling events, and ate fried foods like there was no tomorrow. Here are a few tales: "Well, All Right!" We were playing in Bowling Green, KY when Jon was abducted by Frat boys and forced (at gunpoint) to drink shot after shot of alcohol. At least that's the story Jon tells, and he's sticking to it. That night, Jon proceeded to explore his interest in avant garde music by playing the chord progression to a ballad completely backwards, singing a rousing rendition of "Love Shack", and repeatedly yelling "Well, all right!" into the microphone. "Man Down" We were playing in Indianapolis, IN. Kenny, our bass picker and bass fisher, was playing an inspired set. It's a surprise to many to learn that while it's true that Kenny is a diehard NASCAR fan and an avid collector of Jenna Jameson films, he's also a huge fan of the Russian Ballet and often incorporates ballet into his signature stage moves. This night however, it went horribly wrong! While spinning, young Kenny lost his balance and crashed backwards into the sound console. Ever the Rock and Roll warrior, he jumped back up without missing a note. That's when we noticed the blood gushing. He had torn his face open. The blood flowed. Debra had to take Kenny to the emergency room where he received five stitches. However, the night wasn't over. The Stretta Gang had another gig in Florida. We picked young Kenny and Debra up at midnight and departed. 97 hours later we arrived in Florida. It took a little longer than usual because Raymond Magellan Balz thought that we should go north around the Great Lakes to get to Florida. That's not the most direct route, I'm afraid. "Non-sexual Man Crush" The Stretta juggernaut had rolled into Evansville, IN to play a reception for a member of a major league baseball team. Upon arrival, Jon noticed that there was something different about Ray this time. Ray had cut his hair, shaved (including his neck as Jon observed), was wearing a suit (often, Ray wears swim trunks and a worn t-shirt with "Where's the Beef?" still legible on the front to our gigs), and probably the most unusual thing of all, Ray had brought extra Biggie Fries. We realized that Ray had a Seinfeldian Non-sexual Man crush! That's where you are trying hard to become a side kick. The extra fries was the most damning piece of evidence. Ray shares French fries with no one. There you have it, Strettites. Just a pinhole glimpse into the recent world of Stretta. The road goes on forever and the French fries never end...
Posted on 11/28/2007 10:45 AM by admin
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