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Re: Dispatches from Strettaland, Vol. 65376,
It's been way too long since I sent out a dispatch! The judge finally lifted the gag order, and I can now discuss Stretta in public again. There have been many changes in Strettaland. First, long-time Stretta vocalist, Debra, has moved on to greener pastures. Literally! She joined an agricultural cult living somewhere in the Smoky mountains. We wish Debra (now known as Starshine Moonbunny) all the best in her new life! Our new vocalist is a great singer named Happiness. She is doing well acclimating to the Stretta way of life, but it is difficult for a novice to adjust to an all-fried-food diet. She's making great progress!
Bassist Kenny has been away for a few gigs "vacationing". His initial "Vacation" was scheduled for 11 months and 29 days, but there's hope it may be shortened. Some Nashville Strettites may have seen Kenny with other D.O.C. "vacationers" working under the I65 overpass. Wave and honk if you see him!!
Our recent travels took us to Michigan. It was our second trip up to the casino in New Buffalo. The first trip was harrowing! Just as brave Aeneas, fleeing the burning Troy, faced constant struggles in his travels (and we all can agree that a fleeing Trojan is a problem), so too did Jon and I face 80 mph winds, trees coming down, trashcans flying, and an encounter with furries before we reached our destination. This time however, it was smooth sailing. No problems to report.