Date: 19/08/2018
Email: Keep my email address private
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Dispatches from Strettaland, Stardate 224509

Greetings Strettites!

The Stretta Band was back in full force this past weekend! It was good to have the gang back. Ray Balz had recently completed his court-ordered community service for what the circuit judge deemed the "most blatant abuse of the Take-a-Penny-Leave-a-Penny Honor System that I've ever come across in all my years on the bench". So it was good to have the team back together.

We descended on the Indigo Planetoid club in beautiful Lebnun, Tennessee. As you know, the weather is getting warmer and romance is in the air! Igor Stravinsky himself couldn't have imagined a greater scene of pagan fertility rituals than was witnessed last Friday. Ah, the rites of spring! There she was: tight "Daisy Dukes" covering only what was legally required, cowboy hat, cowboy boots, tight-white-somewhat see-thru tank-top, barbed-wire tattoo around the upper thigh area. And her partner/opponent: black "Dale Earnhardt 'Intimidator'" t-shirt stretched tight over the beer-belly. It was dirty dancin' "Lebnun" style! And even though no one puts Baby in the corner, they were in the corner...and on the floor...and on the pool table..and up against the wall! There was definitely some kind of spawning occurring, and while it isn't wise to judge a book by it's cover, I'm pretty sure he wasn't boldly going where no man has gone before...

As a strange coda to our night, Mrs. Ray Balz came to the show and announced to the band that Raymond has four of what most men only have two.

And that is all I will ever say on that subject!